It’s interesting how people pick their first questions when they start talking to me about Axeer Studio “Did you always knew you wanted to be in the media production industry?” “How did you find your true calling in life?”, assuming of course that Axeer is my true calling in life. Well, as a matter of fact I didn’t.
I still remember how most of the kids in my school knew what they wanted to be when they grow up, and I didn’t
I never knew for sure I wanted to be an engineer or a director or an entrepreneur (If that’s a even a job). Yeah, I remember when I was really young that I wanted to be a fashion designer but that didn’t last for a long time.
But when I recall how I felt in school I relate to these questions, I knew this feeling of being lost, the feeling of trying to find the why behind my existence. And what made it worse is when I fell off the mountain and broke my back in 2005, I knew deep inside that I didn’t die for a reason, and it made me more hungry for answers, but I never found the answers at that time, and I studied engineering for 5 years only to see the first beam of light in my last year of college when we started Axeer Studio.
I was talking to someone few years back about how I was lost, and confused; and that someone told me back then maybe feeling lost is actually a bless. To be honest, It is and it was. For me, being lost, or having questions is like fuel, it keeps me moving, it gives me the energy to keep moving forward. When I think about it, I discover that I actually owe it all to being lost, some people walk in the same path their whole life, others take risks, change paths more than once, shift careers, quit their jobs, change schools, even change religions, I always feel that these people are on a quest, a quest to find their true calling, to find the WHY, to live a life worth living.
As Miguel de Cervantes said in his Don quixote “There’s no sauce in the world like hunger.”
Spending years trying to answer the why, spending years having more questions rather than answers, questioning everything I do, everything I did, everything I gained and everything I lost made me discover more things about myself, about what I need, what I know, and what I really want to do with my life.
Don’t get me wrong, I still don’t have the answers, I still need to know why I am here, I still don’t know if what we do through Axeer Studio is my true calling or not, I don’t even know if anyone gets the chance to answer this question, I think those who are on this quest will be like this for their whole life; however what I know is I’d love to keep going, keep looking, and continue this journey trying to find this one answer.